Had a really rough night again. I couldn't get to sleep for the second night in a row. I can't always describe what I am feeling. I read a story a few days ago about a lady who lost her baby at 18 weeks. What she wrote described exactly how I feel everyday,
"Going home was hard to do. My arms ached from the emptiness of them. Walking into my house seemed odd, as if someone was missing. I'd walked out of our home with our child in my belly, and I walked back in without him. It felt so wrong."
Another reason that I want so badly to lose this little bit of belly weight I gained during this pregnancy, is because I don't want to feel pregnant anymore. It's a constant reminder that my tummy is no longer home for our sweet baby. You don't give birth, come home and immediately know you are no longer pregnant as you do when you bring your baby home, because it is just all wrong. Yes, I was in the hospital and returned home after giving birth, but planning for this baby had been a part of me for months and returning home empty-handed was never in the plans.
No comments:
Post a Comment